I just had to comment on this article. Working with websites all day long and reading the jargon and professional titles that people give themselves these days, it’s a wonder anyone gets noticed.
“We have forgotten how to use the real names of real things. Like doorknobs. Instead, people talk about the idea of doorknobs, without actually using the word “doorknob.” So a new idea for a doorknob becomes “an innovation in residential access.” Expose yourself repeatedly to the extrapolation of this practice to things more complicated than a doorknob and you really just need to carry Excedrin around with you all day.”
Truly, all this fluff needs to go. Using pomp to impress may make us think we look smarter or more important, but it’s really just… well, too much. When someone has to try and decipher an overinflated job title, they’re likely to end up moving on to the next candidate rather than expending the energy (am I just lazy?).
Here are some other fancy, yet politically correct terms for some pretty normal jobs (these are real!):
- Tonsorial Artist – hair stylist
- Digital Music Presentation Coordinator – disk jockey
- Media Distribution Officer – paper boy
- Coin Facilitation Engineers – toll booth worker
The desire for a great title is not a new one – it goes waaay back. Check out this Popular Science article from from 1883.
Not sure what you should call that thing you do? Well, if you’re working for the man, you can create a special job title for yourself at this site and if you’re a techie, how about here. Or, if you’re not sure what you do, you can just come up with something cool sounding!
Maybe my new title should be “Executive Director of Convergent E-commerce Infrastructures and Chief Administrator of Internet Technical Development”.